However, when developing a personal mission statement, you can define value to mean “Something I hold valuable”, implying that you strive for that condition. They become your personal vision and mission.
My true values reflect what I do every day. But the underlying, fundamental values are often usually buried deeply in our subconscious. The first key is to find them.
Finding Your True Values
This is not an easy task, nor is it a quick task. It can, and should, take a long time to process. Start this process in a quiet place, without distractions. Pray about it, meditate, ask your subconscious, think about it just before going to bed.
The first step is to identify your current strategies. For example, you might endeavor to limit food intake and do some daily exercise. The next step is to ask, “Why do I do that? What is my intent?” In this example, You might respond, “to stay healthy.” Then ask, “Why do I want to stay healthy? Maintaining health takes time, effort, money, and forbearance.” You could respond, “So I can maintain my ability to perform my daily actions.” That is a good start. “Why do I want to do that?” You could say to maintain my freedom of movement and choice; my independence.” Now you are much closer.
“Why do I get up every day, commute to work, work long hours, and commute home?” “To earn money.” “Why do I want money?” “To maintain my freedom to do what I choose or to gain the respect of my family and friends.”
You see where this is going. Keep asking, “Why?” until you cannot go any further. You may have to do this exercise again and again to gain full insight. Your intent may change over time.
Freedom to choose, freedom to act, respect, contentment, stability, growth, love, honor, etc. Whatever you decide is fundamental. See Maslow’s Hierarchy in the featured image above.
Why do I act against these values? Resistance is real.
Procrastination is something we are good at. Resistance to act is constant. We never stop avoiding tasks. We overeat. You should recognize that this comes from your subconscious just as much as the positive intents. Your subconscious only wants what is good for you. What is going on here? Each of these actions has a positive intent at its root. Accept that.
Then find out what that positive intent is. Use the same process as above. Here is the kicker: Only give positive responses. You cannot say, “to avoid embarrassment.” You can say, “to ensure respect.” Don’t say, “to avoid conflict or risk.” Say, “to ensure safety or peace or stability.” This is the hardest part of the process. It requires a lot of thought.
Suprise, you will end up with the same values, the same intent, as the prior process.
Why do we spend time on social media? Why do we flee from boredom? To get that dopamine kick? Is that a positive intent? I don’t know. I am still working on that.
So What Do I Do With This?
Once you become aware of your inner intent, your motivation, you become more mindful of what you are doing. As you go through this process, you will mentally assess each of the intents and evaluate their relative importance, to help you set priorities. (You can tell your subconscious, flat-out, what your priorities are.)
You can learn to recognize and accept your resistance. Then you can visualize your priorities and change your actions to become more effective in reaching them. “Is social media more important than family time.?
Better yet, you can probe the real intent of others. “Why is this person constantly late to work?” “Why is that person an alcoholic?” “Why is he a workaholic?” Then respond to that intent.
Here is an interesting story that illustrates as use of the process to set strategy: See the Fisherman and the Businessman on the Paulo Coelho website.
You might check out this video, which gives an interesting perspective: Parts Integration. This one also.